Trying to learn to appreciate the good without crashing into depression when it is over is a challenge. Joy, so much joy even in the small things, but it pulls itself out from under me with a particular violence. I spent three hours talking and making collages with a friend, but when she left, everything fell apart quietly, without me even noticing. Suddenly I realized I was just sitting on my bed, depressed. But I had been so happy and nothing had made me sad except the process of things changing themselves over.
Change is both the good and the bad. I was somewhere before my friend came over, but I easily transitioned into spending time with her. She came in with the good, brought it with her. But she also left with it and took it away. Why do others have this power.
Sunrises bring in the good, but do sunsets take it away? They are both beautiful, both begin something. All change is a beginning, but they don't all feel like one. How do I learn to hold the light in my hands, learn to see the the beginning? How do I learn to say "what now?" with hope instead of dismay?
No comments:
Post a Comment